"What goes on in this house, stays in this house!"

This phrase can put a choke hold so tight on a person that only a near death experience can break it. I don't know about other ethncities but this is the silencer (or it use to be) of many Black households. 

It's like noone outside of the four walls of which you reside is suppose to know ANYTHING that happens within the four walls! And if you dare break this vow of silence, then you are a traitor. Who knew this great silencer lends itself to that of the Traditional Black Church too!  So imagine my suprise and delight to  stumble upon the article, "A New Spiritual Home"in the August issue of Essence Magazine. 

Its about a lady, Keli Goff, who leaves her church home of 4 years to go on search for a new spiritual home. In the end, Keli decides on 2 churches to fulfill her spiritual needs. I don't know how I feel about 2 church homes for myself but great for her! What I do appreciate is her talking about branching out. No one EVER wants to talk about it. Its like what happened to so in so? Oh, Ms. M? She just left,abrupt subject change. And if you're like me, you raise an eyebrow & wonder what really happend. 

In February, I left my church home of 8 years. When I told people I was leaving, they were not elated! This reponse came from from members as well as non-members.  Some Black people just think you are suppose to stay at a church FOREVER. Don't get me wrong, its not bad if you do but FOR ME, its not happening that way.

When I left, I felt an immediate void. I was totally cut off.  It hurt me because I felt like I said goodbye to the church not to the people of the church. To a degree, I understood the resistance but it was as if people failed to realize that me leaving was not about any of them, IT WAS ABOUT ME! Something that Keli wrote in her article resonated within me. She wrote, "...much like with jobs or romantic partners-what we seek from our relationship with God and from our church matures as we do." HeLLO! Can I get a fist pump!! 

I needed something more. I wanted something else. I don't fully understand why people feel that when you leave or say goodbye it says something about them?! This is not always the case. Its not always about YOU (you, being the other person)! I mean isn't that what we tell our girlfriends when they have a break up or the dude dogs them out because he doesn't realize how great she is?! Same difference.